Little Bird, Little Bird, Fly Through My Window
by 96 Hubbles
Summary: Merlin suffers from a spell and his friends do not help. Based on a four-chapter series of drabbles by DragonGem777 and used with her kind permission.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer__: The show__'__s characters and world are the creative works and property of others. I own nothing and my story is not meant to reflect on the quality of their work in any way. _

_Author__'__s Note__: _

_Hello again! _

_Okay, I need to apologize here, I know I should be finishing __"__They Say It__'__s Your Birthday__"__, but, well, sometimes when inspiration hits, there__'__s little else you can do but follow._

_In this case, inspiration was provided by DragonGem777. I__'__ve never written a story based on the work of another before, but her excellent set of drabbles/short pieces __"__Words and Warlocks__"__ (specifically the four chapter arc starting from 13 - Transmogrify and going to 16. Firmament and Verisimilitude) sparked an idea in my head that just wouldn__'__t go away. I greatly recommend you go and read it. It might help you understand this story better, but I__'__m mostly suggesting it for the sheer pleasure it will give you. _

_So, with DragonGem__'__s very kind permission, I__'__m giving you this. I hope you enjoy it._

* * *

**Little Bird, Little Bird, Fly Through My Window **

****-x-

When it happened, it took little more than an instant. However, as it most often transpires, there was a time beforehand when things might have been stopped. That is, if people had been paying attention.

-x-

"Go on, Merlin, try and fly!" Gwaine exclaimed.

_The others laughed, but Merlin was shaking with cold fear. Cold fear and a blinding rage._

"HA! Merlin the Merlin!" Gwaine went on, snorting as he slapped his thigh. "It's not often you meet a sorcerer with a sense of humour."

_The sorcerer was dead. He wouldn__'__t be able to put back what he__'__d done._

"Don't worry, Merlin," Lancelot said, but Merlin was hurt to see that even he was chuckling. "We'll find some way to turn you back."

"_Please, Lancelot, please__"__ Merlin begged helplessly, unheard by all. __"__I__'__m frightened! You don__'__t understand! You don__'__t know how bad this is!__"_

"Sure we will," Elyan agreed, then he shrugged with a smirk. "Of course, it may take a few months. Or maybe years. Decades on the absolute outside, we promise."

_Merlin flapped his wings, letting out a screech as he whipped his new bird__'__s head from left to right in impotent fury. __"__I can__'__t talk! I can__'__t talk! How can you make fun of me NOW, when I need HELP! When I can__'__t__…__ can__'__t__…__ defend__…__ fight__"_

"But you'll be all right until then, won't you Merlin?" Arthur said. "You can still work for me. You could be my little courier bird, carrying and fetching messages for us. Wouldn't you like taking messages from us to all the ladies?"

_Merlin__'__s heart dropped in his chest. Birds could not cry, but what was left of Merlin the man was pained enough to weep, if only they could have seen. _

"Perhaps you could take him hunting, Sire? Your Master of Falcons is always deploring how little you take the birds out," Leon suggested.

"_Why__…__ why are words getting__…__ harder?__"__ Merlin worried. _

"Merlin? Hunt? He'd probably be as rubbish at it as a bird as he is as a servant. Probably fly into a tree, like as not. Besides, a Merlin is not appropriate for my rank. Merlins are for Emperors and Ladies of the Court." *

"_Please! I want to go home! I need help! I need__…__I need__…__ The old one. THE OLD ONE! WHY CAN I NOT REMEMBER HIS NAME!__"_

"Does a Princess not count as a Lady, then?"

_It was becoming harder and harder to understand the King and the Knights__'__ meaning. All Merlin could hear was the laughing. Meanwhile, he felt like he was drowning while they watched him from the shore. _

"Shut it, Gwaine," Arthur ordered.

_Merlin__'__s feathers ruffled and he shifted anxiously from foot to foot on Percival__'__s shoulder. _

The shaggy-haired knight turned back to the victim of the hour. "Don't worry, Merlin. Whether he uses you are not, I'm sure he'll keep your cage in his chambers instead of the Mews."

_A mindless terror gripped Merlin__'__s innards at the word cage. __"__Trapped! Trapped! Couldn__'__t fly! Trapped!__"_

"And I'm sure his new servant will clean it out everyday," Elyan joked.

"_Home.__"_

"Look, could you stop agitating him before he rips a chunk out of my shoulder?" Percival said.

"_Need to go home.__"_

"Be a good bird now, Merlin." Gwaine chided with a wag of his finger. "Don't hurt Percy and we'll give you a nice bit of bread."

"_Please. Home.__"_

"You know, you should be ashamed of yourself, Gwaine," Percival said.

_His plea was weary now, hopeless. __"__Percival. Home. Help.__"_

"Oh, it's just a bit of fun." Gwaine protested. "Merlin knows that, don't you mate?"

_He was so tired. The bird__'__s body he was in was frantic, rocking from side to side, wings flapping, talons worrying at something hard and cold on its perch, but in his mind things were slipping out of reach. Everything felt so far away. _

"Think of how frightening it must be to be trapped like that," Percival argued.

_His desire was no longer in words. His plea was only instinct now: home. Home._

"That's what the jokes are for, to distract him from thinking about it too much. So c'mon, Merlin, think about this: now that you're a bird, you won't have to go looking for a girl! You can just call one with your mating call!"

_Laughing! They were ALL laughing! His mind was almost gone now, but he was still there enough to feel it. They were laughing so hard it hurt his eardrums as the sound burst in all directions, through all corners of the forest. No words came, no conscious thoughts, but feelings were still there, the intuitive awareness of emotion was there. _

_But the human hurt was changing - heartbroken humiliation, loneliness, anger, terror - all were dissolving and reshaping into the animal__'__s instinctive recognition of threat, of attack._

_Laughing__…__Laughing__…__LAUGHING__…__LAUGHING!_

SCREEEEEEEEEECCHHHHHH!

The sound pierced the air, shocking them all, as an enraged flurried shape launched off of Percival's shoulder and dived straight for Gwaine's head, beak and talons foremost.

Gwaine shouted and without thought struck out with his gauntleted hand. Merlin was knocked back, partially stunned, a clump of Gwaine's hair caught in it's talons. In a frenzied panic, the still screeching bird blundered between the horses who whinnied madly and began to dance around. The air filled with the curses and orders from Arthur and his Knights as they tried to control their steeds and catch the wild bird. Elyan's horse reared and Merlin veered away sharply, only to be struck again as the head of Lancelot's horse turned roundly and knocked him hard in yet another direction. In blind retaliation, Merlin dove at Arthur's horse and pecked at its eye, causing it to rear and Arthur to fall and hit the ground with a breathless thump. With a lucky clutch, Percival managed to grab Merlin out of the air, only to lose hold when Gwaine and Elyan both rode into his horse.

Merlin, thrown into the air, rose skyward and suddenly he was overwhelmed by the exhilaration of FLIGHT! He soared higher and higher, higher than the trees, higher than the far-off hills in the distance, higher and higher as if towards the stars.

The path leading towards disaster may have taken the time of their ride, but the final break was the work of a heartbeat. Merlin felt something in his mind tear with the snap of a frayed tether and his last human thought before he was subsumed by the wild magic of the world was to laugh with pure joy at the freedom surging in his chest.

* * *

_* According to the Book of St. Albans (1486), Merlouns or Marlyons were meant for Emperors and/or Ladies. A Prince would use the Falcon Gentle or the Tercel Gentle. Given the date, Arthur would not have heard of the book, but the social conventions themselves might have been around in his time. _

_Wow, I didn't realize this was so short. Well, hopefully more will be coming soon. Oh, and if you__'__re wondering about the title, it comes from a song I heard on __"__Futurama__"__ not to long ago. _


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Disclaimer in first chapter is meant to apply to all following chapters. I don't own, I don't claim credit, I don't get no money._

* * *

**Chapter 2**

* * *

"Sire… He flew away?"

Arthur, busy tugging off his gauntlet, did not notice how Gaius had paled at his tale. "That he did, the damned idiot! You wouldn't believe how long we looked through the - oh, for goodness sake, George!" the Prince broke off to snap at Merlin's hapless stand-in. "Have you never helped any of your masters remove armour before?"

"My apologies, Sire," George said contritely.

Arthur sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as if he had a headache. He was exhausted and filthy, but made the effort to curb his short-temper and address the servant more calmly. "Go back to my chambers and see to things there, George. I need a meal and a bath - preferably both very hot."

George smiled and left, relieved to be once more assigned to chores he excelled at. Arthur resumed his story for Gaius.

"Now, what was I… oh, yes, I was talking about the merry chase that miserable excuse for a servant of mine lead us on and - " Arthur looked up and for the first time got a good look at his old friend. "Gaius, what is it? What's wrong?"

The Knights, also in the stables seeing to their horses and generally grumbling with the same tired annoyance Arthur had been, fell silent at their Prince's exclamation. Taking in the scene, Percival wordlessly grabbed a nearby stool and brought it closer while Arthur took hold of Gaius's elbow and gently lead him over to it and bade him to sit down.

"Here, Gaius, drink this," Gwaine said, passing over a flask. The elderly physician raised it to his lips gratefully.

"I hope that's water," Arthur said wryly, only to step back as Gaius suddenly gagged and spit out a mouthful with a wet, messy splutter.

Gwaine shrugged, but didn't bother hiding his grin. "Well, you know what they say, Princess: hope springs eternal."

Arthur rolled his eyes, but quickly turned his gaze back to the Court Physician. "What's wrong, Gaius?"

"You said he flew away, Sire. Why?"

"Blame it on that sot over there," Arthur said, pointing a thumb towards Gwaine.

"Oi, like none of the rest of you jumped in!" the sot in question protested.

Gaius looked from one to the other, confused. "Sire?"

Arthur put a hand on the old man's shoulder, somewhat chagrined. Merlin's predicament had been amusing, and then massively annoying, but Arthur reminded himself that he was talking about a young man whom Gaius saw as a son. A son who was not only the victim of a spell they didn't know how to reverse, but - at this moment - missing as well. Arthur hesitated, uncomfortable that his irritable rant now had to become a confession. "We were… well, uh, teasing him a bit. And we might have been… laughing. At him. And the mess he'd got himself into," the Prince admitted, suddenly feeling about six years old and far less regal than he could remember feeling in quite some time.

Strangely though, instead of reprimanding Arthur with a raised eyebrow or a disappointed look, Gaius eagerly grabbed Arthur's forearm. "So he might have flown away out of nothing more than pique or anger?"

"Certainly. What else would it have been?" Arthur asked.

"Did he stay close by, taunting you? Or did he look…I'm sorry, Sire, this is a strange thing to ask about a bird, but did he look annoyed or put out? Did he fly away just to sulk, in other words?" Gaius stood and began to pace. He turned to Arthur with a slightly frantic look on his face. "Was there anything, anything at all, that he did that suggested he still knew what was going on?"

Five sets of eyes stared at Gaius with absolute perplexity, but one man guessed at his meaning.

"No," Percival said quietly. "He might have flown away in panic or anger, but it was more like he'd forgotten us."

Gaius collapsed heavily back on the stool and rested his face in his hands.

"I was afraid of that."

-x-

The hot dinner and bath waiting in Arthur's chambers were forgotten over the commotion set off by Gaius's eventual explanation.

The man was not the Kingdom's most renowned physician for nothing. Once he had raised his head and drawn himself up to face the business at hand, he had stated his concerns about Merlin's state of mind (or lack thereof) calmly and concisely. There had been no recriminations for Arthur's failure to bring back his ward safe and sound, no pleading with the Prince to do something, no expressions of fear or pessimism. The briefest, half-second long glimpse was all Arthur had had of the physician's worry before Gaius had became the wise, steady healer once more. Arthur had been grateful and therefore had, both consciously and unconsciously, striven to emulate his example. Though staggered by Gaius's words, Arthur realized that standing around, asking stupid questions and metaphorically wringing his hands, would help no one.

So, despite the growing knot in his stomach - the one that was confusing him even further by being there at all - Arthur took his reassurance in action. Gaius had barely finished speaking before Arthur was barking out orders to his Knights to find reinforcements and fresh horses and search the area around the castle. Stable-hands and stragglers in the courtyard were ordered to fetch torches (for it was now quite late) and do the same search on foot. Unseen by Arthur, some of the Knights outside of his main circle raised an eyebrow at the Prince's urgency, but one look at Gwaine's face and they wisely kept their mouths shut.

Meanwhile, Arthur had already torn across the courtyard, shouting for his steward, with Gaius following doggedly at his heels. Within minutes, servants were gathered in the main hall and told to search the castle in case Merlin had made it back and was perched somewhere out of the way, off having a sulk after all. Arthur did not share this reasoning with them, nor even that the bird in question was a person, but Gwen was taken aside and quietly told all. And, at Gaius's suggestion that even a confused Merlin might instinctively be able to find his way back to a place familiar to him, the willing serving-maid was dispatched to search Arthur's chambers and the physician's chambers especially thoroughly.

After that, extra lookouts were added to those already on duty on the battlements and towers and all were instructed to keep a sharp watch for a small, dark falcon. Needless to say they were all greatly puzzled by this demand, but none questioned their Regent's orders.

"What now, Gaius? What else can I do?" Arthur asked grimly.

"The nobles who rode out with you - have they returned?"

"You think they might have learned something from the prisoners we took?"

"It's possible, Sire," Gaius replied, though his expression mirrored Arthur's doubt. The nobles had been hangers-on, eager to say they had rode out with the valiant Prince and his Knights against the evil sorcerer and his bandit allies. Gaius had not been impressed by them - escorting the prisoners back to Camelot while Arthur and the others looked for Merlin had likely been all they were good for. Nor did he think the sorcerer would have bothered describing his magical spells to hired mercenaries, but there was always a chance someone could have gleaned a clue without knowing it.

"Right," Arthur said.

With Gaius accompanying him, Arthur tracked down the nobles who had returned earlier to the Dining Hall, where most of the group had already got themselves half-sloshed in celebration of their brave adventure. Taking their report by shouting angrily at the most sober, Arthur, as expected, learned exactly nothing. Whoever wasn't crowing over how well they had kept the chained-up bandits in check was complaining about the bandits' cheek at actually trying to fight back.

Muttering words blue enough to make even a sailor blush, Arthur stalked off with Gaius alongside, out of the room and towards the dungeons, only to be brought up short outside of the Royal Chambers by the spectacle of his King dressed in nothing but his nightclothes.

Arthur felt the same clenching of sadness around his heart that he always did at seeing his father so greatly diminished. His King and only parent - once so resplendent, so daunting, so magnificent and feared - was now standing barefoot in a chilly corridor, face colourless and drawn, his only garb a plain white shift hanging loosely on his withered frame. No crown encircled the mess of his hair and there was a wild-eyed look to him which told Arthur he was about to start raving again.

And it didn't help Arthur at all to hear a small, callous voice in the back of his mind, telling him that the search for Merlin wouldn't have happened at all if his father hadn't been ill.

"Arthur! I demand to know what is going on _right now!__"_Uther screamed.

"Father, please, calm yourself," Arthur soothed, with as much patience as he was able.

"No! Arthur, you must heed me! There is sorcery afoot, I am certain of it!"

_Well, yes, _Arthur thought. _There is. How pitiful Fate is that you are right and yet still afflicted, Father. _

But instead of saying this, Uther's son lied. "Sire, there is nothing wrong. One of the ladies visiting court simply lost her favourite hunting falcon and is very distraught. Therefore, I have set the servants to searching for it. But I'll make certain they do not bother you. You are far too busy to pestered by such frivolous nonsense."

Looking on at a melancholy Arthur trying to calm his still shouting father, Gaius realized something: though he had unconsciously kept it hidden, up until this moment he had been absolutely furious with the Prince and his Knights. Mostly it was the fury that came with overwhelming fear for a loved one, but he had to admit there had been some small measure of resentment as well. Merlin had done so much for Arthur and his entire Kingdom, so for Gaius to watch the young man exhaust himself and make so many sacrifices day after day, only to receive little thanks and most often nothing but disdain in return, had rankled him severely at times. And then tonight, after running to the stables desperate for news only to hear more complaints, to learn that Merlin's so-called companions couldn't even do him the service of taking care of him when he needed them most, to hear instead that they'd mocked him and upset him and possibly even quickened the effects of the spell by agitating him…well, Merlin might be a full-grown man, but Gaius had suddenly had to fight down the same righteous anger any parent would have felt at those who had neglected and endangered his child.

But now Gaius could sympathize with Arthur, the boy he had watched grow up. To be forced to rule and yet still be answerable to a sick man, and worse, to be so alone - to still have a father and yet not be able to turn to him - was a disheartening burden to say the least. The Prince at least should by forgiven, he reflected. And perhaps the others too - they had dropped everything to search for his ward, after all. Why do that if not for brotherhood?

Gaius sighed. Though he was a little irritated to be stalled on his mission to find out what the bandits might know, not to mention terribly anxious for Merlin, he couldn't help but pity his King. Sometimes there was something in his old friend's eyes: a hint of awareness, as if a part of Uther knew how ill he was, but was trapped inside his own mind, helpless to do anything about it. Gaius hoped not; the very idea filled him with a resounding sadness.

And it was a sadness made even more horrible by the thought that Merlin might, at that very moment, be enduring nearly the same thing. Was there any shred of Merlin the man left? And should Gaius hope for such a thing if there was no way to turn Merlin back?

Gaius shivered. They needed to find Merlin. The King could wait; time was an issue for the young warlock in a way that it wasn't for his sovereign. So, after he and Arthur, working together, finally managed to get the King settled back in his sickbed - with the King in thanks screaming that anyone who had even the slightest dealings with magic would be summarily executed - Camelot's Court Physician had no compunction at all about pulling a vial out of his robe and dosing his King senseless.

Arthur glanced at him when the King fell so suddenly and so deeply asleep, however he did nothing except to look away and mumble with sad resignation that it "was probably for the best". They both left the room and were quickly on their way again.

Meanwhile, Gaius did his best to ignore the despair in Arthur's downcast eyes. He had his own pain to focus on that night.

* * *

_My thanks to everyone for their wonderful response to the first chapter. Reviews, alerts, putting the story on their favourites list - it was all fantastic! _

_Oh, and CKTheHappyPig - I love your pen name! I'm a huge Blackadder fan and that was a great episode. And if I remember correctly, the pig had a particular name, didn't it? One very apropos for this fandom. And one that's sparking ideas... though I don't think I'll change **him**... Hmmmm._


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